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<title>kokichi the rat is the hero?! by cooler_than_a_vintage_cassette</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23419621">kokichi the rat is the hero?!</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cooler_than_a_vintage_cassette/pseuds/cooler_than_a_vintage_cassette'>cooler_than_a_vintage_cassette</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack Treated Seriously, Fire, M/M, Mention of guns, Oma Kokichi Dies, Panta - Freeform, Piss Fic, am i sorry, kokichi's dick, no, this was for my friend so</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 09:21:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>679</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23419621</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cooler_than_a_vintage_cassette/pseuds/cooler_than_a_vintage_cassette</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>what will our stupid fucking clown do when a fire ravages the academy????????</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Amami Rantaro/Oma Kokichi, Chabashira Tenko/Yumeno Himiko, Gokuhara Gonta/Hoshi Ryoma, Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito/Saihara Shuichi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. the beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverdahlia/gifts">silverdahlia</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a beautiful day at Ultimate Academy for Gifted Juveniles. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming. On days like this, Ultimate students like Ouma… should not be drinking so much Panta. </p>
<p>Seriously. He won’t stop drinking Panta. Ouma’s gone through at least five bottles, someone please stop him. This is getting out of hand. Time to call in the reinforcements.</p>
<p>“Kokichi!” </p>
<p>It was Rantaro! Ouma’s mysterious boyfriend who has an unhealthy obsession with avocados. It’s a little worrying, but that is unimportant.</p>
<p>“(o_O) hewwo Rantaro,” Ouma said in between gulps of Panta.</p>
<p>Rantaro slapped the latest bottle out of his boyfriend’s hand. “You have to stop drinking your soda, Kokichi!”</p>
<p>“(｡•́︿•̀｡) but whyyy,” Kokichi whined.</p>
<p>“BECAUSE THE ACADEMY IS ON FIRE!”</p>
<p>“Huh yeah that is a problem, I guess.”</p>
<p>Rantaro sighed in defeat as Kokichi reached for yet another bottle of Panta. “We don’t have any large water sources on campus, so everyone has to evacuate.”</p>
<p>Kokichi paused and looked up at Rantaro. “Aren’t we supposed to be in space?”</p>
<p>“Shh.”</p>
<p>Suddenly, Kokichi began smiling. Then laughing, then screeching like an absolute clown. He fell to the floor during his laughing fit and rolled around for a bit. After composing himself, he stood back up and faced Rantaro.</p>
<p>Rantaro was fucking terrified of whatever his boyfriend was about to do next.</p>
<p>Slowly, while keeping eye contact, Kokichi inched the zipper of his fly down. He kept going, pulling his pants down, revealing his whole junk to the world.</p>
<p>Rantaro knew what was coming next. He had always known. Solemnly, he nodded. </p>
<p>Kokichi grinned and, like the feral bastard he is, raced out of the room in nothing but a shirt and carrying a bottle of Panta.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. the middle</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rantaro joined the rest of his class outside. They were just standing there, watching as the fire tore through their beloved? school.</p><p>Most of his classmates seemed fairly ambivalent about the whole affair. Shuichi, Kaito, and Maki were all huddled together, doing push-ups and chatting like nothing was happening. Gonta was searching for bugs with Ryoma on his shoulders steering him around like Remy from Ratatouille. Tenko was beating the living shit out of Angie as Himiko watched on in bored acceptance. Angie didn’t really seem to mind, though. Miu was chasing Kiibo around the courtyard trying to get him to let her build the robot a mechanical dick. He wasn’t pleased, to say the least. Tsumugi had fallen to her knees, staring in abject sorrow at their school. Weird. </p><p>Before Rantaro could further observe his classmates, a flash of purple stole his attention. Finally, the show was about to start.</p><p>He sat back on the grass and waited for his boyfriend to finish up.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. the end</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Running through the halls, Kokichi dodged flames and smog alike, dick waving wildly. He kept chugging Panta as he ran, filling his bladder like a goddamn water balloon. What a mad lad.</p><p>Anyway, Kokichi finally reached the hottest part of the inferno. The blaze was incredible, flames stretching up to the academy’s roof and beyond.</p><p>Taking a deep breath, dick in hand, Kokichi aimed for the fire and fucking let loose. It was intense. Kokichi was a little worried his dick wouldn’t survive such a powerful stream of absolute piss, but it was in the name of fire safety so he continued.</p><p>The fire was quickly put out with the sheer power of Kokichi’s piss. Truly, he was a modern day hero. After returning to the courtyard and his classmates, he realized how powerful it had been. He fainted, and before Rantaro could catch him, a bullet whizzed through the air and landed right between Kokichi’s eyes. </p><p>Rantaro fell to the ground in shock, clutching at his boyfriend’s lifeless (and pantless) body.</p><p>The rest of the class looked back to where the bullet had been fired from only to see Shuichi lowering a pistol. Maki gave him one of her AK-47s in exchange. The class watched on in horror as Shuichi fired shot after shot into Kokichi’s fucking corpse. </p><p>The fucking end. Are you happy, Rebecca?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>is this what you fucking wanted becca, huh??</p></blockquote></div></div>
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